The 10+ Canine Commandments

Posted by Jung on July 1st, 2009 at 10:45pm

I will not play tug-of-war with Dad’s underwear when he’s on the toilet.

The dustman is not stealing our stuff.

I do not need to suddenly stand straight up when I’m lying under the coffee table.

I will not roll my toys behind the fridge.

I must shake the rainwater out of my fur BEFORE entering the house.

I will not eat the cats’ food, before or after they eat it.

I will stop trying to find the few remaining pieces of clean carpet in the house when I am about to throw up.

I will not throw up in the car.

I will not roll on dead seagulls, fish, crabs, etc.

I will not lick my human’s face after eating animal poop.

Kitty litter is not food.

I will not eat any more socks and then redeposit them in the backyard after processing.

The nappy bin not a biscuit barrel jar. (Grandma told me this but I don’t understand)

I will not wake Mommy up by sticking my cold, wet nose in her bottom.

I will not chew my human’s toothbrush and not tell them.

I will not chew crayons or pens, especially not the red ones, or my people will think I am hemorrhaging.

When in the car, I will not insist on having the window rolled down when it’s raining outside.

We do not have a doorbell. I will not bark each time I hear one on TV.

I will not steal my Mom’s underwear and dance all over the backyard with it.

The sofa is not a face towel. Neither are Mom & Dad’s laps.

My head does not belong in the refrigerator.

I will not bite the officer’s hand when he reaches in for Mom’s driving license or car registration.

Tags: Dog